|
Wed
|
18/01/2023
|
Diary - First Day of Diary - (note to this point we have been chasing
the biopsy to help diagnosis - and living with the fact I seem to be very
seriously ill)
Moved on a step in the process today, but still waiting for Biopsy.
Tough day mentally, the worst yet, couple of little collapses, especially
when Kirsty came home with invalid clothes for me to wear, tricky bottoms and
white t-shirt.
(Later became known as y clothes to
die in but not ready for that humour yet)
Stayed out of bed all day.
Started the Diary
Health - Bad day for back, bladder thing not to bad.
Not much sleep the night before, but Monty looked out for me.
Spoke to Doctor Devon, looks like the vertebrae might be down to the lymphoma
not sport. Treatment will help it - hang tight.
Positives - Sorted Innovate - working was good, felt good when nothing was
hurting, felt good after I had eaten.
Kirsty cooked again with no fuss.
The Snake pee'd on Jess & Georgie had a bad day with Mrs Cowie so has
tomorrow off. My new invalid clothes are nice!
Started the Diary
Message for Tomorrow - Have some porridge
Walk
Don’t over do the sofa
Drink in the morning not the afternoon
Limit the time on meetings
Make time for Sarah who is down
Something Amazing - I was there when both the Jessie and Georgie were born,
and first to hold both of them.
|
|
Thu
|
19/01/2023
|
Diary - Kirsty still being amazing, she is now all over the NHS
chasing a biopsy date and will probably be running the Infirmary by the end
of the week.
Health - Took an anti inflammatory in the am and that seemed to settle
everything from the day. Mainly a sore arse from sitting in the chair all day
I really need some kind of recliner in front of the TV.
Positives - Chat with Steve and a great walk with Monty
Worked through to gone six which felt great.
Full nights sleep, If a little sweaty
Message for Tomorrow - Have some porridge
Walk
Don’t over do the sofa
Drink in the morning not the afternoon
Limit the time on meetings
Something Amazing - I have seen the Orangutangs in the wild in Borneo
|
|
Fri
|
20/01/2023
|
Diary - (sister) Sarah came late afternoon, we walked Luna and Monty
and talked it through. Came home feeling better. Went down to pets at home
for snake food etc
Had a lovely dinner laughing about her dissociation condition which shouldn’t be funny really.
Health - The fear still comes to visit occasionally but not a bad day.
Positives - Being with Sarah and having her round for dinner.
Our friend Fiona also gave Kirsty and a positive Insight over the hospital
and process.
Slept well the night before.
Message for Tomorrow - Have some porridge
Walk
have as normal as day as possible
Something Amazing - Ridden Top Chief in Fort William, perhaps the worlds
greatest MTB trail
|
|
Sat
|
21/01/2023
|
Diary - Car shopping with Sarah, And a dog walk to.
Lots of debate on how we should feed or not feed this cancer but Sarah told
me to eat as much fatty food as possible so nice to have a positive that I
can eat what I like.
Health - Mildly achy left arm which is a bit worrying. Had a naproxen for the
evening. Have a few aches and pains in the back.
Positives - Sarah is finally sorted financially which is amazing. Such a shame she now has to deal with me.
Message for Tomorrow - Have a nice day with Sarah and enjoy her company.
Something Amazing - I went to the Back to the Future set with Sarah shortly
after it was filmed. We saw the DeLorean and also the A-Team van.
|
|
Sun
|
22/01/2023
|
Diary - Went and had a look at Duncan's camper van today. Loads of fun
but how life has changed so suddenly. Going a away in convoy will have to
wait a while.
Tidied up my surf boards and put them away in the shed, not knowing if I
would ride them again - ouch
Health - Was in a bit of pain on a walk with (Daughter) George and got a bit
overwhelmed but Kirsty was there to catch me
Just want to get on with the
treatment and take control
Positives - Nice easy day
Message for Tomorrow - Relax
Something Amazing - I had this amazing day swimming with Giant turtles in
Malaysia on a tropical island, then I asked Kirsty to marry me on the beach.
It was the perfect day.
|
|
Mon
|
23/01/2023
|
Diary - Ordered Sarah's new Honda today and did a good mornings work.
A nice day of some normality and not thinking about this Cancer.
Health - Felt ok mainly today. Still a bit worried about some pain in my left
arm but the chemo will start shrinking stuff quick so I have to hang tough.
Kirsty was down when I got in, feeling the impact of losing evening yoga so
she can focus on me.
Positives - Got some quality work done and my tax return.
Spent time with Sarah and had Kirsty cook me lovely food. Full fat porridge -
this is the life..
Message for Tomorrow - Have a good work day
Something Amazing - In the Lotus I once went through Blanchimont (Spa)
Sideways at well north of 100mph. Big kick of opposite lock on the exit kerb
and carried on.
|
|
Tue
|
24/01/2023
|
Diary - Quiet Day - got on with work and did all the Innovate Admin
Stuff. Sitting in a bubble knowing I am ill but still unsure of the future.
Health - Was ok I think
Something Amazing - I once landed at Heathrow sat in the cockpit of a 747
|
|
Wed
|
25/01/2023
|
Diary - Finally got confirmation of the Biopsy, a relief and also much
fear - it feels real now.
Health - Back Sore took Codeine in the eve and got a good night sleep
Positives - Confirmation of Biopsy
Message for Tomorrow - Stay Calm when the scary letters come in.
Something Amazing - I walked my baby sister down the aisle for my dad,
amazing proud day.
|
|
Thu
|
26/01/2023
|
Diary - Good day working in the morning and nice long walk in the sun
in the afternoon on Yellowcraigs beach.
Health - Back Sore took Codeine in the eve and got a good night sleep. Looked
really poorly when I went to bed but did get a good nights sleep.
Pain in
front left but seems worse when >I have been eating so maybe more little and often rather than big
meals
Positives - Walk in the sun with Monty
Good nights sleep
Something Amazing - I have many times done full aerobatics in a Yak52 and
Chipmunk - the captain of course was Dad - legend
|
|
Fri
|
27/01/2023
|
Diary - Told the kids this Am, tough but Jess was ok. Georgie
withdrawn as expected. Also got the letter which was scary as hell, Letter said a Biopsy of the Lung.
WTF I
didn't know it had spread to the lungs – more worry I don't need. Turns out that is just the letter they use
when going to the Diaphragm.
Sarah again is there to cut through it and calm
me down.
Health - Aches not bad today, just single Paracetamol at around 10am. Will
try and push through to the evening, Maybe take the codeine a bit earlier.
Positives - Good night sleep last night.
Message for Tomorrow - It’s the weekend relax and enjoy it.
Mount a Surf Board on the wall as inspiration to recover
Something Amazing - I have lived the London life, and escaped it
|
|
Sat
|
28/01/2023
|
Diary - Told Mum, tough conversation really tough. We hugged, sat in
the front of the camper and cried. I told her I had what it takes to beat
this.
Health - Overnight Codeine for the win, mostly a good night sleeping, however
let the constipation begin.
Positives - I have a cool new back warmer
Something Amazing - I have Skiid The Tunnel Run at Alpe De Heuz
|
|
Sun
|
29/01/2023
|
Diary - Told (Step-Mum) Heather another tough one.
Otherwise nice weekend, a couple of walks and that was it.
Health - Tough day blocked up.
Back has been ok but the itchiness is a bit rampant.
Felt pretty low in the evening and was tired - probably the Codeine, was
drifting off and feeling a bit spaced out.
Positives - Nice coffee with the Steve and Duncan
Surfboard up on the wall, looks really cool.
Kids seem to be getting on with getting on which is good.
Something Amazing - K and I went to Las Vegas when we were young, it was
amazing but the highlight was definitely when I ate a bag of laxative sweets
and we both got
woken up by the longest and loudest fart in history. A
fitting story for the Laxative day of the illness.
|
|
Mon
|
30/01/2023
|
Diary - Laxative day whoop whoop. The bag from the pharmacy was so big
I thought they had actually bought me a curry!
Health - Taken the first laxative so things are going to get interesting from
now on! It tastes foul.
Something Amazing - I have been to Bangkok's floating markets
|
|
Tue
|
31/01/2023
|
Diary - Piled in more laxatives. Also took codeine at lunch to get
through more of the day. Feeling spaced out but so what. One day out from
biopsy, pretty nervous -
coming out of the little bubble we have been in for
2 weeks.
Good working day, planning for Thursday and planning for the Carbon Project
Health - Codeine 12:30. Nothing happened more laxatives taken.
Positives - Got a big parcel of stuff from Neil and Sam which was really
cool.
Something Amazing - I have spent a week driving the Alpine passes in the
Lotus Inc. the Stelvio Pass.
|
|
Wed
|
01/02/2023
|
Diary - Biopsy Day, hard core high stress day. Was meant to be in my
diaphragm but the consultant went into the kidney instead, all done on a CT Scanner.
It was fine until the final bit and then wow it really hurt! But it all went as planned so that was good. Long day late home.
Had to be on observation on a ward, needed a pee so first use of a pee bottle
in bed. "get on an angle and let it dangle" was the instructions
from the nurse.
Health - Biopsy was ok but the last pull really hurt.
Positives - Tough day but a good step forward
Something Amazing - Kirsty and I have sat and watched tiger sharks hunting at
Indian Heads on Fraser island, Queensland, Australia.
|
|
Thu
|
02/02/2023
|
Diary - Board Meeting day, needed it like a hole in the head but I
lasted out till 15:30 that was good. Biopsy side effects so far ok
Health - Knackering day but no major dram from the biopsy
Positives - It was good to get buried in the work and still be a part of it
Something Amazing - Running out first game for the St Bess School 1stXV
playing loose head prop. An amazing feat for this 5.7 shorty. One of my
proudest moments.
|
|
Fri
|
03/02/2023
|
Diary - Most of the day working, good mindset, Went for a walk with
Monty and had a struggle with leg coordination oh. Feels like I am a bit
drunk.
Health - Leg coordination, no major panic but certainly a bit of worry.
Positives - Got word that biopsy results might be late in the week next week
which is good
Something Amazing - I have ridden some of the best MTB enduro trails in the
world, NYNY, Dances with Wolves etc.
|
|
Sat
|
04/02/2023
|
Diary - Legs going, struggling to walk, no balance - worry. Talked to
Sarah who said it might be the after effects of the biopsy so we waiting to
see what happens,
seemed a bit better in the afternoon
Health - Rested all day and tried not to worry about the legs.
Positives - Lost the rugby but fun games. Nice family dinner
Something Amazing - Aged 11 I had a hole in one at St Andrews and won the St
Andrews New Park School Competition that year
|
|
Sun
|
05/02/2023
|
Diary - Legs still bad, disaster of a dog walk - worry time - ended up in out of hours GP and given the
option of A&E or GP in the morning, opted for GP in the morning.
Came home and shouted at the dog then got really upset.
Health - Bad legs, bladder on the way out. Not a good one.
Positives - Difficult to take a positive but family love so strong that I was
able to handle it.
Something Amazing - Married Kirsty in a Scottish Castle and apparently I
didn't get too drunk the night before for our photos to be in colour..
|
|
Mon
|
06/02/2023
|
Diary - Fast tracked to the Western and the MRI - The cancer is
causing a spinal cord compression - which is pretty serious. Long hard and
mentally challenging day,
the first thing I heard on the ward was someone
being told they had no more options for treatment.
I was also next to some one in a bad way,
clearly in a lot of pain. A very tough day seeing the stark reality of the
ward, my own new reality.
This a life and death fight here, time to take it
on and front up.
Health - Results of the MRI revealed pressure on my spine and straight to
steroid, at least something is being done but a lot more to worry about.
Positives - Getting up onto a nice ward was good and late on the steroids
gave me some feeling back which was a huge relieve.
Met Andrew Preston and
some other great doctors
Something Amazing - I have been up the Empire State and I have walked the
Golden Gate
|
|
Tue
|
07/02/2023
|
Diary - Newbie on the cancer ward not knowing what is going on and
sleep and steroids don’t match. But Radio Therapy planned for the next 5 days
to sort my back with
today being a planning session,so thought it would be a
quiet day where I could sit in my bubble.
But no Andrew Preston came in for a
bone marrow biopsy and I shit myself but it was painless thank god.
Health - Biopsy , Radio Therapy planning and plenty of blood given and
stomach injections. I have given a lot of blood.
Healthy morning turd and bladder has more feel.
Positives - Got my first tattoo
My life is measured by my bladders performance and how well I can walk with a
Zimmer.
A NEW REALITY
Something Amazing - We watched England Play Samoa in Melbourne on their way
to the 2003 rugby world cup win.
|
|
Wed
|
08/02/2023
|
Diary - Finally the Diagnosis Day! Was a surprise but got the confirmation
that I have Classic Hodgkin's (advanced) and there are some soft tissue
complications to get over
but I am curable and it’s the positive news I would
have hoped for. Not withstanding a very high stress day again.
Told the
office and did some work which was good.
(I add here that the doctor said
that it was not "impossible" to sort the soft tissue element and
this phrasing I found very scary for a
number of days)
Health - First day of radiotherapy - have some of that you lymphomic bastard.
A bit worried about the added soft tissue complication but with the diagnosis
but I have to focus on the you are curable narrative.
Positives - A major milestone. Had a nice visit from Mum, Sarah and Kirsty
and we had a laugh and giggle and that’s all you need out of life sometimes.
And my friends are being helpful which is amazing.
Message for Tomorrow - Relax about the diagnostic and the added bit. They
will fix me.
Something Amazing - Michelangelo's David and The Mona Lisa - yep done them
with Kirsty (and the Elise)
|
|
Thu
|
09/02/2023
|
Diary - Nice to do some work, been on a teams and had an early
Radiotherapy. Good chat with Mark, says not to worry about Salary.
Emotional day - relief and also fear over the diagnosis - nervous of what's
to come but ready for it. I feel like I have been mentally tested and so far
passed the test.
Health - More Small improvement in legs.
Positives - Getting a text from Jessie in the morning was magical and
upsetting at the same time. That’s all that needs to be said about today.
Message for Tomorrow - Try and relax if I get a quiet day
Something Amazing - I have lived in everything from a Van to a French Chateau
|
|
Fri
|
10/02/2023
|
Diary - Big Diagnosis Meeting Day - very successful and a huge relief.
Not out of the woods yet but I now have a plan and people saying I can be
cured.
I also know that if I can beat it might come back so I have to live my
life to the fullest from here on.
Very nervous before the meeting and a hugely emotionally charged day. Sarah
was completely invaluable for Kirsty and I today
Health - More improvement in Legs, slow and steady, I moved onto sticks which
was a real plus.
Positives - Had a chat with Georgie on face time which was really nice. And I
got Harry Styles Satellite played on hospital radio with a shout out to
Jessie.
Message for Tomorrow - Quite day, let your brain have a rest.
Something Amazing - Kirsty and I have flown over the Statue of Liberty in a
Helicopter. And been up it!
|
|
Sat
|
11/02/2023
|
Diary - Quiet today on the ward, which as nice and made a change.
Quick visit from the docs and the usual bloods and such. We set up and
watched the rugby in the ward
My life is being lived in little bubbles of
safety. E.g. I am ok and safe for the next three hours, I will worry about
after that when I get there.. and so on.
Health - Legs better, I can feel the tops of my feet which just felt a bit
more like normality.
Positives - Face time with whole family was really nice.
Message for Tomorrow - Enjoy the weekend.
Something Amazing - Driven a 993RS through Eau Rouge at Spa Francachamps
|
|
Sun
|
12/02/2023
|
Diary - Sunday was a quiet day but not without its moments over
breathing and coughing. Want to go home tomorrow but also apprehensive about
leaving
the safety of the hospital and the little bubble I will be in before
the Chemo starts.
Health - I got a bit worried about my breathing then later on realised I
think it is just I have more feeling and I can feel my stomach going up and
down more!
Also had a bit of a coughing fit in the night
Positives - Nice to see Grandma and Kirsty and have a chill day. Watched
England. Sounds like grandma has been amazing this week.
Message for Tomorrow - Take it easy in the week and take it one day at a
time.
Something Amazing - Have dived the Great Barrier Reef.
|
|
Mon
|
13/02/2023
|
Diary - Going home - not as full of joy as I had hoped. Was a tough
day leaving the safety of the hospital and back into the unknown outside
world.
Lots of unknowns still but onto the next stage of this thing.
I can see how tough it is for Kirsty as well, working like a slave, its hard
to watch, and she is as emotionally wrecked as I am right now.
Health - Not a bad nights sleep. Breathing thing came on for a little while
but I think its cool, I am just being left with my own thoughts and a bit of
worry.
Positives - An emotional farewell with Steven who was in the ward next to me.
Put this in the good because it was a good thing. Jim, Geoff and Steven -
life has been better for knowing them.
Message for Tomorrow - It has taken a massive shift to get here - keep going and keep smashing it.
Something Amazing - Surfed with dolphins, yes they were actually surfing in
the wave, in Newquay England of all places.
|
|
Tue
|
14/02/2023
|
Diary - Cracking on with some work and a bit of normality. Had a visit
from the physio and OT. All good. The bought a commode which I wasn't
entirely happy with.
Health - Marched up the Stairs in the night. Good to be in one's own bed!
Positives - Steve bought round a picture of me surfing and I love it, just
what I needed and shot in the arm for coming home.
Something Amazing - I have visited a virgin rainforest
|
|
Wed
|
15/02/2023
|
Diary - Passed the breathing test but it was a long day going to it
and the furthest I have walked for some time, so tiring. I am cleared for
chemo!
Was the kind of thing that would be fun but I am tired, and my voice
is going.
Kirsty is knackered as well so she has gone to bed. My recliner
chair has turned up which is an absolutely game changer as I now have
somewhere to sit
to watch telly.
Health - Voice Gone which has been quite depressing, and my lower back has
given me a bit of grief today, might have been the extra walking.
Feels like
my new chair has arrived at just the right time.
Also took some oral morphine in the night which wiped out my taste buts and
made me feel very fuzzy headed. wont try that again.
Western General for Breathing Tests
Positives - My new chair and getting out and about for the day
Message for Tomorrow - Another job done on the breathing.
Something Amazing - 23 years old, driving my new Alfa through the night on a
skiing trip to Austria with Kirsty, I did the whole trip through Europe at
125 to 130mph,
she was asleep the whole way - epic drive and holiday.
|
|
Thu
|
16/02/2023
|
Diary - First Proper walk on outside today. Did about 1 mile. Got
really pissed off before hand though - a few tears, legs just not working,
had enough
But going back out to the beach was good, it struck me as we
drove down there how we were driving through an area that I have turned into
my playground
over the last ten years - that was a cool, although the
annoyance of now being on crutches soon zapped that.
Had a good days work and positive meet with SLR which cheered me up and confirmed
I am still adding value. However I also exposed myself to the shit elements
of work
Health - Walk done, still lack of feel below chest is really irritating. Went
quite fuzzy for a while which was scary but then I figured it was the feel
coming back
so that felt better.
Steroids or something is effecting my moods, just getting stroppy for stupid
reason, I just need to try and control it and not shout.
Doesn't help when
you only half a voice to work with.
Positives - The walk on the beach and the usual banter from Ben and Ash
Keeping work clicking along and prepping for the next steps.
Started Looking at RC cars as a project.
Something Amazing - I saw the Berlin wall.
|
|
Fri
|
17/02/2023
|
Diary - How boring but a good days work, got all the timesheets done
lol. Here lies TR and he was doing Innovate projects to the bitter end.
Also had my second walk. This one was harder, walking improving but I have to
concentrate and I get tired. The last 200 yards were really tough, my feet
were on fire.
Sat in the car with my socks off - bliss.
Got home and Kirsty rightly was fussing as I was in pain, but I just needed
to be left to tough it out, which I did then got onto the ol' recliner and
had a pleasant late afternoon.
Health - My fucking feet. Probably could do without keep stubbing my toe as I
think my little toe is in worse shape than I realised. I think I will just
try and ignore it.
I have developed a mindset that if "this is the only problem for the day
I will take it". I am not sure this mindset is a keeper.
Positives - Monty sat on my leapt for a while and we tried and failed to
watch a film or two. Hooked up with Trigger on Seloc and talked RC, and
cancer.
I am keeping it off the group but its good to
have a couple of people
know the score.
Ben passing his Aus. immigration test
Message for Tomorrow - Try not to be a stroppy arse!
You have a lot of toughing it out to do so keep going.
Something Amazing - I have been to The OK Corral in Tombstone, Arizona and
stood in the exact spot the Shootout took place - Wyatt Earp, Billy Clanton,
Doc Holiday etc.
|
|
Sat
|
18/02/2023
|
Diary - Bad night, made the mistake of taking t-shirt off on front of
mirror whilst getting ready for bed. Noticed complete loss of muscle mass
across my shoulders and arms
I guess that’s what 4 surfs in 4 months does to
you. Really hit home that this thing is going to leave me a thin 49 year old
mans body. So there is another step to the recovery,
cure the thing then
recover my fitness to where it was.
This was just something I just didn't see coming, I have been comfortably fit
through lifestyle for so long now it has been taken for granted. Oh well.
A nice quiet day, early local walk, mooched around and had a walk at the top
in Gullane - nice views but coming up the hill was hard.
Bought a Jigsaw - living the dream.
Reflux bad in the evening, hoping it backs off a bit.
Health - Loads today
1) Loss of body mass
2) Still seem to be losing weight (66.8kg)
3) Not sure the general lower body feeling is improving much. I wouldn't mind
taking a pooh on full power and feeling (at least things are working)
4) legs hard to tell, they are tired which I think might be masking some
improvements.
5) Reflux - Worst in the eve for a while
6) Taste - pretty much going going gone, I am eating stuff but not really
feeling it
7) Voice, tails off through the day
8) Mood and stroppiness - All over the place, absolute no patience at all
although I am trying to control it and laugh it off.
8) Sleep - what even is that any more? - get an hour then wake up, on the
kindle, then need a pee (again) and rinse and repeat. Always awake 3:30
through 7:00 then finally get snuggled in and its daylight.
Positives - I am learning and listing the challenges I need to overcome.
The drugs will change and I will get new ones
I still love my seat and am comfortable in the house for the first time in
ages.
Got the snake out for a sliver about - He needs to be part of the daily
routine.
Message for Tomorrow - Keep Pushing, relax - don’t sweat the sleep - get it
whilst you can.
Something Amazing - K and I boat and kayaked toured Hawlong Bay in northern
Vietnam - Think James Bond Set
|
|
Sun
|
19/02/2023
|
Diary - Pretty quiet day although another bad nights sleep. Ended up
going back to bed at 9 for a couple of hours.
Read my Cancer folder from the hospital back to back today which needed
doing, scary to see that I am in for the most aggressive treatment etc but it
is what it is.
Went for a walk to the shop which felt ok, but felt good on my legs all
afternoon and am not using the sticks round the house.
Had some back and forth with (Step Sister) Claire which was good, she has
obvious experience as she recovered from Hodgkin's 20 years ago.
Health - My god the hiccups!
Positives - (Brother in Law) Neil has sorted my bike!! What legend.
Was nice to sit quietly and go through magazines and enjoy the non screen
time. I didn’t put the telly on till late afternoon.
Message for Tomorrow - Get some work done and have a good day.
Don’t worry about sleep take it as it comes.
Something Amazing - I have been to the Niagara Falls, although Grandad was
convinced I was somehow going to fall over them.
|
|
Mon
|
20/02/2023
|
Diary - Monday blues…. No good day did some work and talked about the
Carbon Project which secretly I am enjoying more than I admit
The old
hiccups have not been too bad. I woke up dreading having to eat because of my
throat but its been fine.
Short walk, want to get out twice tomorrow.
Watched the surfing from Sunset
Health - Bath Seat Installed by the council
Reflux and Hiccups not getting worse, just an irritant
Felt strong on my feet round the houses yesterday and not using the sticks at
all.
Positives - Work and an amazing afternoon sleep where I properly fell asleep
and vegged out. Magic.
Message for Tomorrow - Keep plugging in the food.
Something Amazing - Kirsty and I have walked in the Californian Redwoods
|
|
Tue
|
21/02/2023
|
Diary - Clearly the highlight was going and buying my Radio Controlled
car as a project. Other than that the main drama was I had to tell (sisters)
Anna and Jennie the news.
Really tough but they were both really good. I
forget they are not children any more.
Health - Yeah, walking a bit better and thank god the reflux has improved. A
much easier day although I still didn't sleep.
Positives - Getting the car and also just making the improvements
Message for Tomorrow - Be Nice to the dog
Something Amazing - I have had exclusive tours of most of the RAF's vintage
aircraft collection, sat in Monty's seat in his Dakota even picked up the
phone to the PM.
Sat in many a gun turret, including being left on my own in
the rear turret of a Haunted Halifax.
|
|
Wed
|
22/02/2023
|
Diary - Quiet day, just got on with a load of work then had a quick
walk at Gullane beach before home. Spoke to the Doctors and hoping to get all
the timings tomorrow.
Health - As above, Steady improvements
Positives - Good day with work and I am happy with my walking if not the
distance I can go. Yeah I was awake in the night but I pushed through it and
finished my book.
Message for Tomorrow - Be Nice to the dog again!
Something Amazing - I have been up the Sears Tower which was the tallest
building in the world for the whole of my youth. Foot note I have also been
in the
Twin Towers and up the Empire State.
|
|
Thu
|
23/02/2023
|
Diary - Pet-CT Scan Day. Dog slept on the bed so he was happy.
Actually got a half decent night sleep.
Scan was absolutely mental, being pumped with radioactivity and then everyone
standing clear. Wasn't allowed in the same room as the kids when I got home.
Not all good though, know the scan is looking inside and that brings on a lot
of fear on what it might find and how it indicates how ill I am. A very
disconcerting feeling when
you just want to get into the treatment and not
worry about how bad it is.
Health - All good, not too much going on, now feeling the strange flutter in
my ribs on the left again that I had noticed before my legs went.
PET CT Scan - Royal Infirmary
Positives - Eating for England, had fish and chips and so much food.
Better Sleep last night too.
Something Amazing - We have toured Tuscany and the Chinca-terre roof down in
my English Sports Car.
|
|
Fri
|
24/02/2023
|
Diary - Yes!!! Confirmation this morning of my treatments dates today
- so a great day - lets get into it - especially after Scan day which
definitely unsettled me a bit.
Good day at work again, another good meeting with SLR and into the project.
Health - Walk on NB Beach and today I really started thinking about my legs
to walk again. And it started to click. Lots of work to do but I really need
to remember to
engage my brain in order to engage my legs
Positives - Walking, including a trip round the shops for an overpriced
magazine.
Duncan came round for a coffee.
Message for Tomorrow - Have a relaxing enjoyable weekend.
Something Amazing - I have seen the Geyser Old Faithfull in Yosemite do its
thing!
|
|
Sat
|
25/02/2023
|
Diary - Toda was a day of two halves so I thought I would share,
Around 9am I received an announcement that a journey to the toilet was
required – up I went.
What followed was an hour of the most unpleasant constipation I care to
recall, which is impressive considering I nearly blew myself up just three
weeks ago.
*Bear in mind I am already a bit limited on feel down there so not fully in
control of a full push or snip which make the whole activity a bit vague but
fortunately less painful.
Three times I had something halfway out the door and three times it refused
to reach down and hit the water.
Rocking back and forward, a walk up and down the corridor and even shower
helped and eventually the third effort made a dive for the safety of the u
bend,
and was followed by a good 4 inches of softer poop that flowed out with
such pleasure that I moaned with contentment, shoulders slumped back and my
head resting on the cistern.
Part 2
In the afternoon we went for a coffee at the local shopping centre and a walk
round Hobby Craft. My legs were improving, and I started to feel more
confident on them.
Every time I stand up I say “Power legs” to myself to
engage brain.
Then having been sat in the car whilst K bought some snacks in the car I
decided to make a quick dash for a pee in M&S before the drive home.
Walking in and out of the shop
was absolutely phenomenal. I could feel the
power of my legs returning.
In fact that walk out of M&S may have been one of the best 70 meters of
my life.. Still loads of work to do but feels like driving & walking the
dog are obtainable again in the
not too distant future for the first time in
3 weeks.
I still have the small job of taking on and beating the big b@stard C on
Thursday when chemo's starts but I am winning the first battle of the war.
Chill day today painting gold wheels and riviera blue body work on the RC car
& Jessie and I will probably binge the new series of Drive to Survive
later.
Health - The pooping.
But the legs coming back made it a great day.
Am sporting a very mild cough…
Positives - My Legs coming back
Something Amazing - I have slept trackside at Arnage Corner during the 24
hours of Le Mans.
|
|
Sun
|
26/02/2023
|
Diary - Nice quiet day, I mainly painted the RC car and then had a
walk into the village, still good on the legs but still getting tired. Ate
ridiculous amounts of food in prep
for what's to come.
Health - Bit of pain from bone biopsy area over night - have put a plaster on
and has improved through today.
Still a very mild cough,
Positives - Tinkering with the RC and watching drive to survive with Jess.
Swapping texts with Neil, Duncan Penn, Claire, and the Captains. Just a cool
day to have friends and family.
Message for Tomorrow - Back to work, get prepped for the Board meeting and
the end of the week trauma!
Something Amazing - I have rebuilt a car (well mostly anyway)
|
|
Mon
|
27/02/2023
|
Diary - Really bad day, started well and just started to feel so tired
in the afternoon. Biopsy site and back were both very painful, then my glands
swelled up
Just felt like shite and don’t want anything wrong two days out
of Chemo. A really hard day full of aches and pains. Slept on the recliner
and dozed all the way through the night.
Ended up on the OraMorph.
Health - Pain and Aches
Positives - well I had a nice morning anyway.
Something Amazing - I saw Trevor Brooking Score for West Ham
|
|
Tue
|
28/02/2023
|
Diary - Spoke to the doctor this am who told me not to worry about the
pains, its just due to me coming of the steroids. So I just need to tough it
out until Thursday
Did loads of work and generally otherwise had a good day.
Have dozed a lot today and looking at another night in the recliner.
Health - Aches and pains
Positives - I had a really good walk around the Millennium Woods and Fields.
Felt good.
Something Amazing - I have been to dodgy snake show and had a cobra get out
straight between my legs.
|
|
Wed
|
01/03/2023
|
Diary - Last day before Chemo I felt pretty ropey – Back was hurting
and I have a little pain on the left hand side of my ribs – where I broke one
at Uni as it happens.
So a sudden intake of breath is a bit sharp. guessing
there is a lymph node there swollen and squeezing the muscle or something – who
knows.
And my neck glands have been swollen and base of my neck LHD is a bit sore –
again probably a node having a spaz.
So this all kept me up through wed night with a bit of dozing. Eventually
with the aid of the ora morph I got some sleep – 4am 6am. As I said Bosch and
Skiing got me through.
This is probably the first time proper I have felt seriously ill… like “we
need to be getting on top of this sharpish ill”.
Health - Neck, ribs, back
Positives - 1 days to go
Something Amazing - I have fired a Baton Round (Rubber Bullet)
|
|
Thu
|
02/03/2023
|
Diary - All the same symptoms as days before – rib pain worse and
acutely aware that like the spinal compression it could march on fucking with
whatever it is fucking with.
But keep the faith chemo will quickly start alleviating these issues so its
going to be a case of toughing it out again.. (lol and not even on the side
effects yet.)
Chemo itself was fine, just a day of drugs getting piped in, the bright red
stuff was a bit scary but manageable, only side effect was it felt like I had
been snorting pepper.
Emotional when the Chemo drugs came out and I finally had them onboard –
hello my friends – get in there and sort some shit out!
Then two bits of crap news, one the steroids don’t start until tomorrow and
two it was too late in the day for painkillers to be prescribed.
So another
night of aches, pains, Bosch, the freeride world tour and Oramorph.
And a crap night it was, only mild nausea but a copy of the night before –
very little sleep, although I had slept from about 4 to 7pm – wiped out. Not
even dealing
with side effects yet.
Health - Neck, ribs, back. - feel wiped out
Chemo Day 1, Ward 7, Western General
Positives - Finally the chemo is going in.
Message for Tomorrow - Hang in there.
Something Amazing - I have been Pony Trekking in the Teton Mountains in
Wyoming - yee ha
|
|
Fri
|
03/03/2023
|
Diary - Second day Chemo, after another sleepiness night with a bad
back and needing some better painkillers. Chemo itself was fine, just two
hours on the "brown" bag IV.
Also had to come to grips with the mountain of pills. Worried about the
glands on my neck, but see what the nurses say tomorrow. And my lack of
ability to control temperature
at the moment -
I feel like I could hit 38
just wrapping in a blanket then back to 36.5 in a heart beat.
Health - Neck and the thingy in my ribs. Worry.
No turds either which is concerning.
Temp all over the place
Chemo Day 2, Ward 7, Western General
Positives - No probs so far with the chemo itself,
Got a bracelet from Kirsty and the kids which was amazing.
Something Amazing - Kirsty and I have been round the US Embassy in Saigon /
Ho Chi Minh, the one they flew the Staff and US citizens at the end of the Vietnam War
|
|
Sat
|
04/03/2023
|
Diary - No sleep again, the steroids are back, so something like 8 or
9 episodes of Bosch back to back. Chemo was fine, just the two hour brown bag
job. Cool, day off
tomorrow.
Health - Not too bad today.. Nurse says not to worry about my neck to much,
chemo doing its thing.
Oh and is that a touch of the roids coming on from all the sitting - joy.
Chemo Day 3, Ward 7, Western General
Positives - Continued with my Balsamic journey and working on the wireframe
lol.
Banter with Kirsty over driving etc - just having a nice time with her.
Message for Tomorrow - Take the Sleep when it comes.
Something Amazing - Kirsty and I stayed in The Sekau Rainforest Lodge, In
Borneo, before it became so famous. We toured the river and saw Probiscis
Monkeys,
Snakes, King Fishers, Crocs, and much much more.
|
|
Sun
|
05/03/2023
|
Diary - Good night but went to shit at 6 pm when my back kicked in.
Took the OraMorph which immediately set everything off - Glands, Back etc and
temp straight up to 38
which is hospital time. Got it calmed down with the
steroids and taking on gallons of water. 30 mins later and I am in the mid
37s. FFS no more Oramorph. Also accidently
crapped myself and didn't even
realise and blamed the dog. Must have been an untrustworthy fart.
Back swelled up which is the chemo fighting the good fight - well I hope for
it.
Rest of the day was ok, did some car building and watched some F1 - first
race. Ended up doing some work as well lol.
Health - Big Temp fluctuations.
Low level roids
A fart that shouldn’t have been trusted
Swollen back
Positives - My legs are still improving which I sometimes forget.
Message for Tomorrow - Get a nice walk in and get through some work.
Something Amazing - I have had a boat trip through the floating Candle
celebration in Han Hoi, Vietnam
|
|
Mon
|
06/03/2023
|
Diary - Slow day, did some work, walk. Got the RC car to state of
movement
Health - Sore fingers from model making
Controlled temp but bad back
Something Amazing - Paddle boarded with seals 20 mins from home.
|
|
Tue
|
07/03/2023
|
Diary - Highlight was bloods and my walking. I walked Monty on my own
which was good but it was too cold really to be out, unbearably cold and my
cough and glands were
hurting.
Health - Took Pain Killer at 4:30 which helped the morning
Bloods @ Haddington, Haddington
Positives - Walking Monty and in the morning he slept on my lap for a while
Something Amazing - Surfed First Point Noosa, Aus, one of the most famous
point breaks in the world.
|
|
Wed
|
08/03/2023
|
Diary - Cant remember - seem to have a missed a day
Something Amazing - Kirsty and I have seen and watched fireflies in southern
italy.
|
|
Thu
|
09/03/2023
|
Diary - Last Chemo Day - Felt terrible in the evening and overheated
(again), slowly bought it under control and was ok by midnight..
Kirsty's dad taken into hospital in very poorly condition.
Health - Felt very Poorly through the evening.
Chemo Day 4, Ward 7, Western General
Something Amazing - We have seen the Little Penguins come ashore at Philp
Island in Aus. Amazing wildlife experience, the waddled right to our feet
before heading to
their homes.
|
|
Fri
|
10/03/2023
|
Diary - Spoke to nurse about cough which seem to be related to a node
on my chest rather than an actual cough. Had a really nice walk in NB and
sorted out friends
Ben and Aah visiting.
Pretty much finished the RC car,
stickers and gluing.
Health - Got better as the day went on but needed the anti nausea tablets.
Positives - Neil is sorting the transport of my new bike.
A very nice walk.
Something Amazing - I have been a passenger in the Agent Orange 993 GT2 in
Oulton Park - unbelievable when the turbos spool up.
|
|
Sat
|
11/03/2023
|
Diary - Kirsty's dad sadly died in the night. So a fairly low key day.
Went for a walk into the village and watched the golf at number 1, very
frustrated by the lack of
walking range.
Health - Sternum Hurting due to the injections.
Felt like a long night taking on and passing water - relentless repeat
activity but it seems to control my temperature.
Nausea and sore stream in the morning meant I took a pain killer.
Message for Tomorrow - Don’t stress if we have to go to hospital cos I have a
temp - its not the end of the world.
Something Amazing - We have been surrounded by thousands of dolphins whilst
whale watching off Santa Barberra.
|
|
Sun
|
12/03/2023
|
Diary - Felt a bit poorly again in the morning but had a nice chat
with mum and felt pretty good this afternoon. Have not had a sleep today.
Health - Very slight runny nose, not sure if is just related to the cough,
blown nose just once or twice when out in the cold.
Cough seems to come and go, I would really like it to go.
Positives - Sorted out some old photos which was a nice change.
There can be no denying the progress my legs are making as frustrated I have
felt at times with them over the last couple of days.
Message for Tomorrow - Just Keep Going, it’s a long road but a step at a time
Find different things to do to stop getting bored.
Something Amazing - We have had dinner with the Disney Princesses in the
Disney Castle (Spoiler it wasn't that amazing)
|
|
Mon
|
13/03/2023
|
Diary - Received a cool bike thing from Neil to build. Felt ok all day
Something Amazing - I have driven a Ford RS200 Group B rally car
|
|
Tue
|
14/03/2023
|
Diary - Amazing day, drove my car for the first time since it all
began. A very emotional moment as I do love my driving and losing that may
have just been too much.
Felt reasonably well all day. Had a decent walk.
(Daughter) Georgie also had a really good meeting with high school.
Health - Good nights sleep
Positives - Driving my car!!
Something Amazing - I have been to the Back to the Future Set and seen the
Doc's Delorean
|
|
Wed
|
15/03/2023
|
Diary - Hair gone, started clumping and was shaved off by 10am
Health - Cough was being a bit of sod all night, otherwise super stable on
the temperature
Positives - The hair thing is another milestone passed.
Message for Tomorrow - Embrace the lack of hair
Something Amazing - I was at Pebble Beach during car week
|
|
Thu
|
16/03/2023
|
Diary - Had a great walk down in NB and also went for an hours drive
which was pretty special. Took a pain
killer before bed which settled my cough and
got me a load of sleep so happy.
My legs were burning with the tiredness when I went to bed which felt good.
Health - Last morning of steroids
Positives - Enjoying driving
Something Amazing - I have touched a piece of Moon Rock (twice in fact)
|
|
Fri
|
17/03/2023
|
Diary - Felt absolutely great this morning. Only the legs being the
issue. Steroids are over as of yesterday so worried about what is to come.ad
nice walk and sit in the sun at
Gullane then drove up to get Jessie and Maya
from NB.
Health - Can kinda feel the steroids wearing off. Got stupidly snappy with
Kirsty for no reason when she came in. Feel a bit achy etc but not too bad
yet.
Positives - Feeling good this morning, and had a good chat with Sarah and
generally a good day.
Message for Tomorrow - See what tomorrow brings
Something Amazing - I have been up the Gateway Arch in St Louis, Mississippi.
|
|
Sat
|
18/03/2023
|
Diary - Wow Saturday - Steroids bombed out and so did I. Absolute zero
energy to do very much so I didn't do very much. I did get a good nights
sleep the night before so
that was great and spent most of the day dozing
with a short walk. Some fun and games with my temperature later but that
seems to be because my glands heat up and
my ears heat up.
Health - Just a bit of warmth in my glands and a bit achy in places in my
chest. Still lots of coughing which is causing my throat to be a it sore at
times.
Positives - It was better than last time off steroids anyway
Message for Tomorrow - Enjoy the weekend.
Something Amazing - I have seen the Dawn wall at Yosemtie, but not climbed
it!
|
|
Sun
|
19/03/2023
|
Diary - Lazy Day, a lesser version of Saturday, felt tired but no big
dramas other than the family all being a bit poorly so we are tightening up
on my isolation.
Had a good chat with Steve and Fiona on the way to walk the
dog. Sat and watched the paddleboarders down at the beach. Wish I could have
been out there
but also proud that when I could be out there I always was.
Fixed the battery on the car.
Health - Just a bit of warmth in my glands
Positives - We have two working cars lol
Message for Tomorrow - Prep for round two.
Something Amazing - I have caught an overnight train across europe.
|
|
Mon
|
20/03/2023
|
Diary - Neck and Throat sore so a pretty low day really. Slept well
though.
Health - Cough ongoing, neck and throat sore.
Bloods @ North Berwick
Something Amazing - Silverstone Grand Prix - Check
|
|
Tue
|
21/03/2023
|
Diary - Visit to the doctor today, didn’t learn a whole lot other than
not to stress too much about covid being a game over situation. Not
necessarily the case.
Health - Cough ongoing, neck and throat sore.
Clinic with DR B, Lower Ground Floor, Anne Ferguson Building, Western
Something Amazing - I have ridden an Elephant through the rain forest -
although that is frowned upon now.
|
|
Wed
|
22/03/2023
|
Diary - Felt better today, had a nice walk and a sit at aberlady bay
in the car listening to the radio. Nice to feel that I am recovering off the steroids before the
next batch
kicks in.
Duncan came round for a chat so it was cool to have some
social interaction.
Something Amazing - I have had a tarantula fall out of a tree and sit on my
head, whilst being on a small raft on swollen river in the Jungle.
|
|
Thu
|
23/03/2023
|
Diary - Chemo Day - Forgot what happened as catching up on Diary after
a few days off.
Health -
Chemo Day 5, Ward 7, Western General
Something Amazing - We wild camped as a family on lakeside on the shore of
Loch Garten.
|
|
Fri
|
24/03/2023
|
Diary - Juts another day in paradise - slept most of the morning then
went in for chemo. Didn't feel terrible but not great either
Health - Was pink in the morning in the face and felt a bit hung over. Also
had a bit of a rash. Cough ongoing
Chemo Day 6, Ward 7, Western General
Something Amazing - Georgie keeping pace with me skiing in Poland, I was
drawing out some nice turns on my snowboard and looked over and she was right
there with me.
First week in doing her thing!
|
|
Sat
|
25/03/2023
|
Diary - Sarah took me to Chemo which made a nice change, Jess was at
Wilber Soot in the evening. Got the PS4. We all feel asleep before Kirsty got
home with Jess.
Health - Rash shown at Chemo and anti histamine given. Felt horrible in the
head - probably the same as the rash. Cough Ongoing not as bad.
Chemo Day 7, Ward 7, Western General
Positives - Sarah has her new flat
Something Amazing - Had Jess come home and tell me she has passed her Biology
exam - a simple thing but still amazing.
|
|
Sun
|
26/03/2023
|
Diary - Nice day, had a good walk and went for a nice drive just to
get fuel then a quick blatt round the block. Fixed the RC car.
Health - Cough still going, felt a bit tingly and chemo-y at times but
generally ok
Positives - We have PS4
Message for Tomorrow - Try and do the Diary.
Something Amazing - Sarah and I as kids travelling internationally completely
on our own in the old BA 747's. They were just great trips and we had such a
great time on
them with many adventures together.
|
|
Mon
|
27/03/2023
|
Diary - Kirsty off to her dads funeral. I went out for Bloods and a
drive then came back and did Warrens Claim and a load of work. Sarah and Sam
came and we had a
nice walk and Sarah made macaroni cheese which is going to
do some lunches. A nice quiet night in front of PS4, a Jigsaw and YouTube
Health - Cough Milder - getting that dull hay fever feeling behind my eyes
still occasionally
Positives - We have GT7 incoming
Something Amazing - We went for a walk n Scotland with Sarah and the kids and
found and handled slow worms - Georgie loved although she did fall in the
river.
|
|
Tue
|
28/03/2023
|
Diary - Lovely day with Sarah without too many dramas other than a
small fire. Went for a walk and had a lovely family dinner which went well.
Played Call of Duty and
Snow Boarding with Sam which was loads of fun. A good
day
Health - Nice day with out much drama.
Rash came back after on and sneezed a couple of times so took and Anti Histamine.
Positives - Woke up feeling really good.
Message for Tomorrow - Spend more time with Sarah when this is over- Go to
Norway.
Something Amazing - I have driven the Nürburgring in a Rental Hertz Megane
after the Elise threw its cambelt
|
|
Wed
|
29/03/2023
|
Diary - Went for a nice walk with Sarah before she set off to the Zoo,
then gamed solidly for the rest of the day - GT7, went to sleep way to late at 1am.
Health - Lower back a bit sore, I think from sitting in different chairs.
Feels like I have more feeling in my legs, a bit more normality, might be
putting on some normal jeans also makes be feel a bit normal.
Positives - Just being out with my sister
Something Amazing - Foraged for wild mussels on the island of Scotland and
had them for dinner that night.
|
|
Thu
|
30/03/2023
|
Diary - Chemo Day - Made the mistake of reading last Diary which said
I felt terrible… Lol anyway so went home and took pain killers and an anti nausea.
Felt ok in the evening as it turned out and just played PS4.
Health - All reasonably ok, cough still ongoing but ok
Chemo Day 8, Ward 7, Western General
Positives - Fending off the ill ness and getting ahead of it.
Something Amazing - Ash and I coming home from Le Mans, flat out just the two
of us through France in our Lotus. Not sure where Ben was that day but it was
a great drive,
then getting late for the ferry and properly getting on it on
the Autoroute
|
|
Fri
|
31/03/2023
|
Diary - Forgot to put the injections in the fridge so had to make
another trip to the hospital, pia. Had a walk in the rain having slept all
the way home. Had a good long chat with Ash in the evening.
Health - Dry mouth which is a bit sore so see how that goes.
Positives - Chatting to Ash for 2 hours.
Something Amazing - I have Been to Alcatraz
|
|
Sat
|
01/04/2023
|
Diary - Worked on the bike which was fun but I did feel tired.
Health - Throat was sore back right so
need to think about that. Also usual aches and pains that seems to come after
chemo 4 and the injections. Radio location sore Sunday am.
Positives - Small steps
Something Amazing - I saw INXS in concert at Wembley
|
|
Sun
|
02/04/2023
|
Diary - Went to see mum which was fantastic and she was pleased to see
me. And had a nice walk in the late afternoon with Kirsty
Positives - Saw Mum for the first time since the start. And a nice walk.
Something Amazing - I have paddleboarded around Mahon harbor and watched the
sun come up over Le Mola.
|
|
Mon
|
03/04/2023
|
Diary - Fabulous walk on the beach with Kirsty and Georgie - Dipped my
hands in the sea which is the first time I have touched water since 2022 and
held
Georgie's hand as we walked home.
Health - Took advice on Sore throat, take bicarb of soda. Usual aches and
pains that seems to come after chemo 4 and the injections. Radio location
sore.
Positives - Holding my daughters hand!
Something Amazing - I have had a magazine article published
|
|
Tue
|
04/04/2023
|
Diary - Spend most of Tuesday asleep, zonked out in the morning and
afternoon, felt really down in the evening and was suffering for the Ulcer.
Felt quite poorly at 1pm and was running 37.5 temp.
Woke up and took on loads of water and a painkiller,
steadily got better and by about 3pm was back to normalise.
Health - Throat sore all day, Usual aches and pains that seems to come after
chemo 4 and the injections. Radio location sore.
Positives - Toughed out a hard day.
Something Amazing - I have wake boarded in Bermuda
|
|
Wed
|
05/04/2023
|
Diary - Board Meeting day, went well but I spent 8-15 on the phone so
probably stretched things a bit. Is the sore throat improving lets hope so
Health - Throat might be improving…
Positives - Proper work day, it was good to be working.
Something Amazing - I have dived with Manta Rays
|
|
Thu
|
06/04/2023
|
Diary - Slept for a lot of the morning and felt really tired. Really
struggled mentally in the evening, fed up with being stuck in the chair and
only a short walk.
Health - Cough to replace throat.
Positives - toughed out a hard day.
Something Amazing - I have Seen Saturn Five and the Space Shuttle
|
|
Fri
|
07/04/2023
|
Diary - Absolutely no energy, beautiful day and I can't even summon
the energy to cross the room. One of the worst days so far.
Ended up having a
walk around 6pm which was nice
and wraps for dinner and a funny film. The
Triangle of Sadness.
Health - Cough Bad but controllable - all the usual aches and pains that come
with off steroids.
Positives - toughed out a hard day.
Something Amazing - Have been down the Co Chi Tunnels in Vietnam
|
|
Sat
|
08/04/2023
|
Diary - Another tough day but marginally better than Friday.
Health - As above,
Positives - Getting better
Something Amazing - Have walked round the Monuments in Washington DC
|
|
Sun
|
09/04/2023
|
Diary - Steroids are finally wearing off. Had a walk and a sit in the
sun, watched the masters and generally the day was ok. Felt really good
today. I nice work at the beach.
Worked on the bike without having a meltdown
and got the brakes 90% done. Drove the Blitzer and made a little video.
Watched the Masters
Health - Cough Bad
Positives - Just enjoyed getting into the golf
Something Amazing - I have walked the WW11 Beaches and was there for the 50th
anniversary.
|
|
Mon
|
10/04/2023
|
Diary - Tommy two walks, went for a great walk at the beach and sat on
my bench. Lovely sunny day - watched some kiting. Felt really good, fit and
Healthy.
Went for another walk in the evening round the field. Felt really
good to be walking without too much thinking.
Health - Cough Bad
Positives - Two Walks and Felt really good
Message for Tomorrow - Hang tough for the big scan. Tomorrow is another day.
Something Amazing - I have sat in the Cockpit of a Harrier Jump Jet and
Tornado, both on active service still.
|
|
Tue
|
11/04/2023
|
Diary - Pet Scan day, felt good in the morning but it did wear off in
the afternoon and I started to feel a little groggy. But a good day all in
all.
Health - Cough Better
Clinic with DR B / Pet Scan, Lower Ground Floor, Anne Ferguson Building,
Western
Something Amazing - I have stood right next to Seve Ballesteros (My sporting
hero as child) in the R&A clubhouse during the open.
He was eating a
bacon sarnie if I recall Correctly.
I also got up close with Tiger and Sergio
that same day.
|
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Wed
|
12/04/2023
|
Diary - Day off before I get the results of the scan - very nervous as
it feels like another life or death conversation coming tomorrow.
Remained
pretty calm though and had a good night sleep. It will be what it will be.
Health - Cough Better, still minor aches and pains, radio site and
Bloods @ North Berwick
Positives - Felt really good in the morning.
Something Amazing - I have surfed and snow boarded on the same day
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Thu
|
13/04/2023
|
Diary - What a day, nerves nerves nerves but Doctor Beverstock dropped
in almost as soon as I arrived for Chemo to give me the amazing news I
responding to chemo.
Unbelievable relief as I still need to wait to see if I
need 2 or 4 more goes but who cares as long as it is working. Felt brilliant
going in to today and really didn't want to go for
chemo and make myself ill. Dodgy sandwich for lunch and felt sick all afternoon - took the shine off the
good news - Diarrhoea in the evening - oh oh
Health - Diariha in the evening
Chemo Day 9, Ward 7, Western General
Something Amazing - I have seen dolphins hunting in the shallows at my own
beach
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Fri
|
14/04/2023
|
Diary - Was sick all morning, really sick, including in the car park
at the beach and three times driving to chemo.
Had a call to the ward to see
if I could come - not now when I am doing so well did I want to cancel chemo.
Got called in and given a private room - Jenny was great and got me on Anti
Sick and big Saline, then Chemo.
But better than that the Doc came in and
gave me the news that my scan was so positive that I only need one more round
of chemo after this.
I almost don't dare to believe it. Sav came round later
and was even more positive about my scan. ("Considering how bad I
was" - thanks Sav).
Health - Badly Sick all morning. Some coughing.
Chemo Day 10, Ward 7, Western General
Positives - Scan results!!
Something Amazing - Watched Opera in the Royal Albert Hall (not my thing
mind)
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Sat
|
15/04/2023
|
Diary - Long walk and sit on the beach at Muirfield in the morning,
first time doing any kind of hill and managed ok,
Had a little collapse of a
tired leg walking home but so happy.
Beginning to feel like there is light at
the end of the tunnel, just got to keep going keep believing and see it
through.
In for 2pm for the chemo, which went well, watched some of Goodwood Members
Meeting.
Had a chill evening and sat on the sofa for a change without my back
hurting. Didn't sleep at all.
Health - OK.
Chemo Day 11, Ward 7, Western General
Message for Tomorrow - Keep calm and keep doing what you are doing.
Something Amazing - We have cruised the Miami Strip in a convertible -
playing summertime by Will Smith
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|
Sun
|
16/04/2023
|
Diary - Well it was meant to be a quiet day and I went for my usual
walk at the beach but as I was sat on "my" bench some dolphins
cruised into the bay and
started hunting in the shallows -
Epic view of them
- but I couldn’t resist a run/tro/hobble down to the waters edge for a better
view.
Ended up having a chat with a couple of mates who didn't know I was ill
before a long and tiring hobble up the beach path to the car.
Took the beetle
Blitzer out for a drive late on as well which was fun. Nearly took out Monty.
Also did the bar tape on the road bike so it is coming together slowly
Health - Metallic Mouth and some coughing
Positives - Dolphins Hunting - Amazing.
Something Amazing - I have clashed heads with a fruit bat (Cairns, Aus.)
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|
Mon
|
17/04/2023
|
Diary - Had a good call with Ali, went for bloods, back to work then
off to see Sarah to pick up her new car. Had a nice coffee and a catch up at
waterstones then home. Ended up on the PS4 till 1:30 am which wasn't sensible
but who cares,
Health - Metallic Mouth only
Bloods at North Berwick
Positives - Ash sent me a cycling top
Message for Tomorrow - Enjoy two days before next chemo
Something Amazing - I have seen shooting stars and watched the international
space station cross the night sky
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|
Tue
|
18/04/2023
|
Diary - Did some work, chilled out, don't remember much about Tuesday
as I forgot to fill in my Diary.
Positives - Nice Email from Patty
Something Amazing - I have held an Alligator and tracked down a wild one.
|
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Wed
|
19/04/2023
|
Diary - Quiet day trying to boost the haemoglobin levels, went for a
short walk but took it easy and had an early night
Health - Return of the dry mouth and ulcers. Also seem to have been having
the usual minor aches and pains again. Bit if tiredness / hay fever style
feeling behind the eyes
Something Amazing - Kirsty and I have seen the temples of Chang Rai
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Thu
|
20/04/2023
|
Diary - Woke up to a good nights sleep and took the dog out for a long
walk in the morning and felt very strong.
May need to come in for a blood
transfusion but will find out in due course.
Health - Felt much better today, good nights sleep. Bit if tiredness / hay
fever style feeling behind the eyes
Chemo Day 12, Ward 7, Western General
Positives - A mega walk and felt strong and better balanced.
Something Amazing - We have stood on the bridge on the River Kwai.
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|
Fri
|
21/04/2023
|
Diary - Felt very low and moody in the morning and had a little cry,
but the day picked up and I had a couple of good meetings,
I go the IAR for
the project - the stress of that might have been not helping.
Has a nice chill walk in the afternoon and watched the surfing from Margret
River so a really slow day but good
Health - oh yeah, all the aches and pains are back and the throat is a
nightmare - but taken a pain killer and tough it out.
Positives - Another nice walk and a nice relaxed sit in front of the surfing
late afternoon.
Message for Tomorrow - Get loads of bits done.
Something Amazing - I have done a Cuban Roll and nearly fallen out of an
Airplane
|
|
Sat
|
22/04/2023
|
Diary - Better day and went for a coffee at Duncan's house. Jupiter
was pleased to see me. Went into Edinburgh with jess for a PS4 game and a
cheeky big mac.
Watched the Surfing from Marg's.
Health - Sore throat and a bit wobbly but all good.
Positives - New trails at GT.
Something Amazing - I have been to the Grand Canyon& stood on the Hoover
Dam.
|
|
Sun
|
23/04/2023
|
Diary - Quiet day of rest but still had a really nice day and walked
to the top for the view of Edinburgh. Played a lot of Call of Duty!
Something Amazing - I have been to a sex show in Amsterdam
|
|
Mon
|
24/04/2023
|
Diary - Full day work - head down and prep for the Monitoring Meeting
Something Amazing - I have seen the oldest living organism (in Aus. - it was
a thingy attached to a rock)
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|
Tue
|
25/04/2023
|
Diary - Good full day of work and completed the monitoring meeting for
Innovate, went well and claim signed off - big result.
Bad night with my throat and sores getting worse.
Health - Terrible night due to the throat and tongue soreness.
Positives - Massive positive getting the project monitoring meeting done
considering the situation.
Something Amazing - We have been up the Aquille de Midi, Mont Blanc
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|
Wed
|
26/04/2023
|
Diary - Good mornings work, drama with Ash's car but they are on the
way.
Went for a walk with Kirsty and made it to my favourite place Renaissance
Beach - another little step in the right direction.
Health - Throat better now drugs organised
Positives - Made it to Renaissance Beach
Something Amazing - Watched Kirsty getting attacked by a clown fish
|
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Thu
|
27/04/2023
|
Diary - Amazing day with Ben and Ash, went down to the Jim Clark
Museum the UP, Elise and Alfa, loads of
faffing with trying to get Ash' car running but all good.
Had a nice pizza at
the campsite and fell asleep ten minutes after getting home. Best day for a
long-time.
Health - Drugs for throat making things better. Everything else feeling good.
In the evening my hands where a bit sore from being cold.
Steroids kept me awake all night.
Positives - A great day with good friends.
Something Amazing - I have made a life for myself driving the best roads in
the UK
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Fri
|
28/04/2023
|
Diary - Another fantastic day with Ben and Ash, did the motor museum
and passengered in both the Elise and the Alfa on local roads. Both Magic.
Ended up in Mary Hatton and had a good chat. Lots of of heavy subject matter
but all good.
Then we walked them along the coast and showed them the
beautiful location we call home.
Health - Bit of fingertip numbness, one to monitor. Monumental coughing
clearing flem..
Positives - I have the greatest friends
Something Amazing - I have fired an AK47, M60 and M16 (Rambo) in the
vietnamese Jungle - probably not PC
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|
Sat
|
29/04/2023
|
Diary - Set the boys off via some fantastic roads and they both got
home safe. I slept all day as it was steroid Saturday and had a quiet
evening.
Health - Ends of fingers are gone! Still monumental coughing.
Message for Tomorrow - GET THE ELISE DONE
Something Amazing - Been up the Petronas towers in Kuala Lumpor (despite my
fear of heights I like going up tall buildings)
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|
Sun
|
30/04/2023
|
Diary - Slept all day, very tired.
Health - Fingers
Something Amazing - I have crossed the Rio Grand, and nearly got stuck in
Mexico.
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Mon
|
01/05/2023
|
Diary - Slept all day, very tired. Emotionally down just due to coming
off steroids. Sore Fingers too.
Health - Fingers
Bloods @ North Berwick
Something Amazing - I have climbed Ben Nevis & Scarefell
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Tue
|
02/05/2023
|
Diary - More energy but not much. The walk today was probably the
hardest physical exercise I have ever done, brutal but one step closer to
good Health.
Health - Fingers
Something Amazing - I have stayed overnight on Mont St Michele
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|
Wed
|
03/05/2023
|
Diary - Aaah that one day where I feel good before I have to go into
Chemo. Another nice work and a chill day. Hada few meetings with work so good
to do a full day.
Nice walk with Monty and legs were feeling good.
Health - Fingers a bit better bit of pain in back, glands and arms
Message for Tomorrow - Last time on the red stuff so tough it out.
Something Amazing - I have been guest of honour at French Mechuit (Lamb Bake
/ Annual village fete). I got so drunk I fell asleep on the roof of my car
after woods.
|
|
Thu
|
04/05/2023
|
Diary - Back in Chemo - first of the last batch - bring it on. Had a
walk in the morning to make sure I got my steps in.
Felt bloody awe full in
the evening and just got away with not being sick.
Really had to tough it out
in the evening hoping that it was the start of the end.
Has a chat with specialist nurse Rebecca and she has given me the life after
Chemo paper work
Health - Nausea, Runny turds
Chemo Day 13, Ward 7, Western General
Positives - Started to organise Kirsty's pressie.
Something Amazing - We have toured Moet and Chandon, We bought a bottle of
Don Perringon and drank it on the beach in Malaysia the day we got engaged.
Also Mouton Rothschild, Margeret River and a whisky distillery in Indiana.
Our and done the Heineken brewery whilst on the same theme.
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|
Fri
|
05/05/2023
|
Diary - Felt better in the morning but still leaning heavily on the
anti nausea. Kirsty is really tired and trucking on, unbelievable really,
she
is working so hard whilst I sit about resting and sleeping.
Had a chill evening and ended up watching Gladiator. Picked up Kirsty's car
after a £600 pound bill.
Health - Left index finger seems a bit worse and I can feel that my toes are
suffering.
Chemo Day 14, Ward 7, Western General
Something Amazing - I have lived in Amsterdam although was completely stoned
for the whole time I was there.
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|
Sat
|
06/05/2023
|
Diary - Walk in the morning and then in for Chemo and quiet night.
Last one with Jenny who has been amazing. Promised to drop in after my scan.
Health - Fingers ok - Very little sleep = got off at 5am
Chemo Day 15, Ward 7, Western General
Positives - Jenny who has been so good through my treatment.
Something Amazing - I have been barrelled on my bogie/board on the French
Atlantic coast. And surfed naked at the same spot!
|
|
Sun
|
07/05/2023
|
Diary - Got no sleep the night before - drifted off at 5am… Anyway
nice long walk in the am to watch the surf at R-land.
Sat in the sun in my
favourite place in the world for an hour watching the waves roll in.
Then
over to mums and had a nice afternoon - choose a pressie for Kirsty from
Granny's jewellery which was nice. Mega drive home in the sun with no traffic
Health - Very little sleep = got off at 2am so better than last time.
Positives - Sitting by the sea soaking it in.
Something Amazing - I have surfed an almost perfect wave at Arches and
snapped a board and nearly drowned at G-Land (East Lothian not Indo)
|
|
Mon
|
08/05/2023
|
Diary - Fab walk with Georgie to the beach. She complained about the
distance of course but she jabbered away at me all the way around.
She is very excited by Zelda
arriving. Lots of catch up sleeping either side of the walk.
Health - Mouth now going dry which seem to be standard for this stage of
chemo. Mouth ulcers will flare up tomorrow I guess.
Positives - My little one Georgie who talked to me all the way round the walk
:)
Message for Tomorrow - Do some work!
Something Amazing - We have shot rapids in the rain forest in a narrow wooden
boat and had a moment of drama when the engine failed
|
|
Tue
|
09/05/2023
|
Diary - Slow day again with the mouth dryness coming back through.
Legs were very tired so did a shorter walk which broke the run on my fitness
app but all the way back
with no stick.
Tried to ride a bike today, no luck,
went round the block but not able to stand on the peddles and a shaky finish.
Have a while to go yet.
Health - Dry mouth, sore back, sore legs.
Positives - Well I rode a bike and the walk with no stick was good.
Message for Tomorrow - Stretches
Something Amazing - I had my 12 birthday in New Orleans and had the best
seafood I have ever eaten on Bourbon
|
|
Wed
|
10/05/2023
|
Diary - Feels like a big turning point today, did some research on my
Spinal Cord Compression and faced up for the first time how serious it was
and how it could be the case
that I never get back to where I was. The
positive effect was that I just wanted to get on with it as much as possible.
Balance exercises on a windsurfing board in the garden
gave instant results
and the muscle memories kicked in. Initial fear turned to hope and massive
determination to get to wing foiling. Watched Mark Mathews -
The Other Side
of Fear and it gave me huge inspiration to push on. Lets do this thing and
enjoy it.
Health - No taste, sore mouth, plenty of balance.
Positives - Standing on a board for the first time
Something Amazing - I have kissed the bricks on the start finishing line of
the Indianapolis Speedway
|
|
Thu
|
11/05/2023
|
Diary - More balance exercises in the morning and my first walk
without my sticks!! Beautiful sunny day and last day of chemo.
And I got my
usual seat. Chemo went well and felt fine in the evening. Another good day.
Health - Sore mouth and lack of taste
Chemo Day 16, Ward 7, Western General
Positives - Last Day of Chemo, Started the Diary for back recovery.
Something Amazing - Lucas Oil Stadium to see the Indianapolis Colts win in
the last minute against the Chiefs. And seen Indianapolis Baseball (W),
Basketball (W) & Ice
Hockey (L).
|
|
Fri
|
12/05/2023
|
Diary - Highest day ever for walking and went down with Kirsty to put
my feet in the water whilst Kirsty was swimming.
More balance stuff which was
really good. Just need to keep it going.
Health - Sore mouth and lack of taste
Positives - Seeing really good progress with balance stuff.
Something Amazing - Been flown with Kirsty by Helicopter to a deserted
Whitsunday Island for a champagne lunch.
|
|
Sat
|
13/05/2023
|
Diary - Sore mouth day but did some fun balancing and had a nice walk
with Kirsty then a nice trip out to the shops with Georgie to buy Kirsty's
pressie. Amazing sunny day.
Organised the July Road trip with Ash and booked
an "empty" yurt.
Health - Very Sore Mouth. Sore back from all the exercise.
Positives - Getting out in the Sun and being out and About with Georgie.
Something Amazing - I have crossed the vertigos Llangollen Viaduct on a
paddle board.
|
|
Sun
|
14/05/2023
|
Diary - Kirsty's birthday, gave her granny's Eternity ring which she
really liked, had a nice walk on the beach and did some good balance exercise
in the garden.
Ended up heading over to Livingston to pick up some new seats
for the Elise which were silly cheap and should be good for my back. Happy
days.
Positives - Kirsty loved her ring and my new seats of course.
Something Amazing - Been round the Ferrari factory in Moderna
|
|
Mon
|
15/05/2023
|
Diary - Very slow day, bad night with my sore mouth and ended up
sleeping most of the day till around 3pm.
Was pretty miserable really but the
drugs are helping and it is ok if I don’t talk!
Had a nice walk in the
afternoon and felt strong.
Health - Very sore mouth.
Positives - New seats out the car and in great condition.
Something Amazing - I have seen the Beyeau Tapestry
|
|
Tue
|
16/05/2023
|
Diary - Sore tongue and arse in the morning. Really sore, maybe the
most painful morning I have had full stop. Fortunately the drugs kicked in
and things settled through
the day.Managed a walk at about 5pm although I
kept meeting and having to talk to people so it flared up again. Preparing
for a long night of discomfort.
Health - Sore mouth and Arse having passed a bowling ball.
Positives - Thinking about work on the car and getting excited. Managed a
good balance session.
Something Amazing - I have seen the Crown Jewels
|
|
Wed
|
17/05/2023
|
Diary - Went to Docs, happy with progress and expecting me to be clear
at next scan, but not guaranteed so still got to hang in there a bit longer.
Was clear at last scan apparently and I didn’t realise!
Did a bit of work on
the bike, just the chain and indexing of gears to go now.
Health - Mouth improving, locking knuckles in the evening.
Clinic, Anne Ferguson Building
Positives - Clear scan at mid point.
Something Amazing - Flown in a Hercules
|
|
Thu
|
18/05/2023
|
Diary - Board meeting day but had a good stretch and balance session
in the morning followed by a walk at the beach. Last day of steroids today.
Health - Mouth still improving, but did some mad coughing in the night which
kicked it off a bit.
Positives - Another 1 hour car chat with Ash.
Something Amazing - I have been to the Alamo
|
|
Fri
|
19/05/2023
|
Diary - A couple of good balance sessions in the morning and a great
walk round to Aberlady Bay. Sat in the sun for an hour and it felt good to be
alive.
But still got a call from the Western to bring me back to earth and
remind me I am still a bit Anaemic and need to do blood tests again in 2
weeks. Ah well.
Health - Mouth Not to bad
Something Amazing - I have camped in the Blue Ridge Mountains
|
|
Sat
|
20/05/2023
|
Diary - The Steroid bomb kicked in!!! Zero energy all day, slept till
1pm and then struggled to cross the room. Temperature north of 37 all day and
a figgy head.
Nasty and a bit scary. Watched the Euro Rugby cup final then
the N24 hour race well into the night. Just hoping for better in the morning.
Health - Like Death Warmed up, dog tired. Sore Mouth. Legs and Feet very
tingly. Temp north of 37 all day..
Something Amazing - I have skiid in the Rocky Mountains
|
|
Sun
|
21/05/2023
|
Diary - Day two of cold turkey, slept all morning and still felt
pretty rotten. Emma came to visit in the afternoon (up from London) and we
went for a coffee I started to feel
a lot better as the day wore on.
Legs are
still made of concrete but in the evening my balance did feel pretty good,
which is great. Hopefully tomorrow is last day of the steroid hell.
Health - Still like Death Warmed up, dog tired. Sore Mouth. Legs and Feet
very tingly. Definitely better than yesterday. Temp got to 37.4.
Something Amazing - Seen the Mona Lisa
|
|
Mon
|
22/05/2023
|
Diary - Another really tough of day of feeling extremely tired and
occasionally lightheaded. Very low energy and depressing as I just want to
get on and get out.
Went for a walk but it was a killer and only managed
1.5kn of lead legs. Played COD till late and actually started to feel quite
nauseous, too rotten to even plug the controller in.
Health - Lead legs, temp ok, mouth recovering. Exceedingly tired, 3 * sleeps.
Something Amazing - I have done a dorm raid
|
|
Tue
|
23/05/2023
|
Diary - Finally some improvements and felt better today, a decent walk
and two times stretching exercises.
Health - Still mild lead legs, mouth now better and can eat chocolate again.
Something Amazing - Joshua Tree National Park
|
|
Wed
|
24/05/2023
|
Diary - Ran for the first time!! It wasn’t pretty! All in all a good
day. Had a really tiring walk and was a bit down at the end but I just need
to keep going.
I need to find a fun exercise that I can do.
Health - Legs as always are fucked but other than that no major ailments, and
its not often I have said that in the last 4 months.
Positives - Recovered from the Steroids.
Something Amazing - I have played the Golden Horseshoe and Wentworth
|
|
Thu
|
25/05/2023
|
Diary - Went over to mums and had dinner with her. A really good
positive day.
Health - legs only
Something Amazing - I have worked Streaker Squad at Twickenham
|
|
Fri
|
26/05/2023
|
Diary - Lots of stretching and used the turbo trainer for the first
time. Had a decent walk although got pretty depressed as I am worried my legs
will never recover fully.
Did feel better in the after noon.
Health - Legs only
Something Amazing - I have been to Wave Rock in the Australian Outback
|
|
Sat
|
27/05/2023
|
Diary - Took the seats out of the Elise and coffee at Steve's house.
Transfer to weekly Diary.
Health - Legs only
Something Amazing - I have had a tour of Hiurst Castle in California
|
|
w/c
|
28/05/2023
|
Diary - Switched to Weekly Updates as I am out of Chemo. A good week
just constantly working on balance and fitness.
Health - Still some humming in my arms and tingly fingers.
Something Amazing - F1 at Silverstone
|
|
w/c
|
04/06/2023
|
Diary - CT Scan on Monday
Health - Legs still wibbly wobbly but otherwise pretty good
Positives - First Bike Ride
Something Amazing - I have sat in Harry Kane's Seat in the Spurs Changing
room
|
|
w/c
|
11/06/2023
|
Diary - Good news from the CT Scan but I still have some lymph Nodes
oversized so they need to be looked at by a PET CT Scan - Booked in for Wed
21/06
Health - Just the legs and weird throat thingy if I breath in hard.
Positives - Loads of riding
Something Amazing - Been to the Sydney Opera House
|
|
w/c
|
18/06/2023
|
Diary - Pet Scan On Tuesday, Results that I no longer have cancer on
Friday - End of Diary
Health - Legs still fucked but hey ho.
Positives - First Ride on the Paddel Board and Flying of Kite
Something Amazing - I have beaten Cancer
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